October. October and yet so similar to earlier this year. My car engine blew again. Kia replaced it again. Ben left again.

I think I'm taking it a little better tho. He's been gone for a whole day and I have yet to cry. Congrats to me, I know. And because it's Wednesday and he'll be back Saturday... it's a little ok. Because it's almost 5 (ok it's 2...) and once the work day is over, the real day is only a couple more hours. And then it's Thursday, which is almost Friday. And Friday is the day before he comes home.

He's not out of the country, so he can text. And I can text. And we can talk...

But it's still really lonely. Having to cook my own dinner (or rather, pour my own cereal and open the cookie package). Having to do the dishes by myself. Refusing to pick up his dirty socks without anyone there to care but me. Watching the World Series and my 2nd favorite team actually winning. But without him it's just baseball. (Who am i kidding? I love baseball!)

At least I don't have any more childhood animals that can die.

So I’m getting a new car... ok, not really. But I am getting a new engine for my car. Because I bought a kia and they suck. 60K miles and my cylinder head cracked. Sure I hadn’t had an oil change in the last 4,000 miles, but considering the car was literally on the way to the dealership for the 60K tune up, I thought I could push it. And of course the warranty was only good until 60K miles while I was actually 800 miles over that. Thank goodness the dealership was kind enough to lie and give me a new cylinder head for free… That took a week (my car broke down 3/20) to fix but then the engine block was cracked as well. Or they cracked it… or something. So I get a new engine! And I’ll actually get my car back today! Horray! I haven’t driven it in so long I don’t know what it’s going to be like. And to have to break in the new engine… ahhh I forgot how.

But horray Capitol Ford & Kia. If you’re going to buy a Ford or Kia (because even tho they suck a little, they still get great gas mileage) go there. Anywhere else I’ve heard totally rips you off.

Oh, so I’m back from Montana. And I didn’t join a Militia. But I did get super sick, really drunk and skied a lot (not in that order). Oh and bought a really cute shirt. It says “skiing > snowboarding”. HAHAHA. Snowboarders suck it!

In general the vay-cay was pretty phat. Our condo was off the hook and the skiing was hot. Alright, I’m done with that. For real tho, there was a hot tub right outside our door, there were a million closets, a huge kitchen and a large balcony looking out over a golf course with mountains for a horizon. And an electric grill that we cooked steaks on one night. Whatever works.

The mountain was so big, hence the name Big Mountain I guess. 2,000 + vertical feet. At the bottom of the lift, everyone would be sweating their balls off but at the top they’d be freezing off. HUGE temperature difference.

The train sucked. It’s faster than a bus, but that’s about all it’s got going for it right now. Ok, it also has food and handy souvenirs but that’s it. Otherwise it has screaming kids running up and down the aisle and loud doors in between train cars. Plus unless you’re ninety and crippled they won’t let you sit in the lower level seating. Which sucks. Cause damn it! I wanted lower level seating! That’s why we bought lower level seat tickets! But whatever.

People should call me now that I have returned. I’m looking in your direction.

I feel an intense and fierce pain. I suppose it started as longing, but has since mutated into crippling heartbreak. My stomach is so not happy right now. I feel completely unrested and sleep only to stop crying.

I miss him so much.

I have a lot of parties and things to do this weekend. Friday night there are two party/bonfires I'm supposed to attend. I shall go to both. On Saturday there are two parties and a comedy-club to see about. I have no idea what I'm going to do about that.

Let's pro and con.

Comedy Club, Pro:
1. See friends whom I've not seen in many moons.
2. Comedy is funny.
3. Agreed to this first

Comedy Club, Con:
1. Costs money ($10 with a 2-drink minimium)
2. Disappoint others

Party 1 at Sister's, Pro:
1. Hang out with sister and her boyfriend.
2. They waited for me to say I was going before telling other people about it.

Party 1 at Sister's, Con:
1. Hang out with sister's friends/coworkers.
2. Lots of drunk people.
3. Disappoint others

Party 2 in Country, Pro:
1. Fire!
2. They waited for me to say I was going before telling other people about it.

Party 2 in Country, Con:
1. Boyfriend's friends.
2. Disappoint others.

Am I really supposed to decide? The plan was (when I had forgotten about the Comedy Club) to go to both parties. And then I was reminded of the whole Comedy Club thing. Lame-O! What's a girl to do?

It's amazing how fast something can go from "Can you help me out on this?" to "Ok, now you have to do this and this, but make sure you check for this. I'll be over here doing nothing if you need me".

It's unfair and I would just like to state that it did not say whipping bitch as a description when I applied.

The bloodhound gang is funny. Almost funny enough to buy the new cd. But then again... nah. But with lines like "I know you're going to blame me, when you get wind (some words....) but if you cover your ass with the same old song, you might as well be farting farting with a walkman on."

So eloquent.

I hurt my back. Don't really know how. Some possible causes are: the bed which was just fixed, the two hour truck ride sitting bitch in the front seat, the office chair and/or the crazy sex. Ya know, whatever. But it's getting better.

So my supervisor and my boss are getting married. Workplace incest. In a good way I guess. I don't know. I appreciate them as people, but working together... Oh well, we shall speak no more.

Tonight Kp and I are going to hang out. I'm looking forward to it. It sucks living in a different town. A town that everyone looks down on. If I had more friends in the area, I would prolly enjoy it more. What with people actually wanting to get out and do something? Yeah, it's a strange concept.

I'm a little pissed at my sister. She is a really sucky friend. I used to wonder why she didn't have any and now I know. She's there for her. And ugh. It just pisses me off. She was all about being my friend when she broke up with her boyfriend, but now they're back together so she's so busy with him. What. The. Fuck? Well fine, I have a boyfriend I can hide in too. But I choose life.

Otherwise, the only other interesting thing happening is I'm watching the first season of the OC with Jammin. He and his friends used to have OC night where they would gather every Wednesday (or whatever day it was on) to watch it together. And I would tease him for enjoying 90210. And he would argue. Now I have to defend my sudden interest (ok, love) for the series. Don't judge me. It's an enjoyable show. Oh and I haven't had cable in over two years, so anything with bright colors can easily catch my attention.

It's been busy. The week has been spent running around trying to get a fund-raiser organized. Yesterday I drove a cargo van to Madison twice. It's bit of a distance away, so when I got back to the office the second time and asked if I wanted to make one more trip, I declined. Overtime just wasn't worth it.

Ya know why I not only love, but actually like Jammin? He's cool. He actually likes to get out and do things. This summer, we created a softball team. It was his idea and he gathered people, while I worked out the sponsership and other technical stuff managers do. We set up practices and made the batting order. It was a good time.

One of our teammates (his friend since high school) asked us to join a dart league. So we did. Last night we practiced. I learned how to play cricket and got my ass beat in 301. I still don't know how it works, but I'll figure it out as I go.